July 11, 2010 – Day Sixty-five

It is Sunday, a day of rest. While most people were attending their favorite church services, we committed to attend the Shrine of St. Walton, aka WallyWorld, or Wal*Mart for the totally uninitiated.

There must be some sort of marketing ploy by the folks at KOA, since they appear to be the campground closest to a Wal*Mart. Here in Streetsboro, Ohio, the store was less than three miles from our campground according to my GPS.

But GPS’s can lie. Well, maybe it’s not an outright lie; maybe it’s just that this electronic marvel has taken it upon itself to misrepresent the truth. I followed the simple directions explicitly and ended up in a parking lot of an abandoned Wal*Mart.

Throughout our travels on this odyssey, we have seen many stores, shops, offices, and gas stations closed because of the economy. But the only time I’ve seen a closed Wal*Mart store is if there is another brand spanking new Super Wal*Mart just down the street somewhere. So I knew that new one had to be here somewhere close.

This was the first time I’ve ever spent any time in Ohio; all other times I was just passing through, driving from New York to South Dakota, or flying the opposite direction. Armed with limited knowledge, I decided to stop at another American institution, Burger King, for breakfast and directions to the new Wal*Mart.

When you ask for directions for the nearest Wal*Mart, the first words out of people’s mouths is, “You’re not from around here, are you?” I guess it’s too obvious, since EVERYONE knows where the Wal*Mart is. But if my GPS didn’t know, how was I supposed to know?

With breakfast in my belly and directions to Mecca, we headed off to restock our supply wagon. As I’ve mentioned earlier, a Super Wal*Mart is truly a one place shopping emporium; we picked up groceries, special dissolvable RV toilet paper, a new hand towel, and even a cheesecake with four different assorted flavors on each quarter for Nancy’s pre-birthday party, which we would be celebrating later in the day.

We unloaded our stash back at the trailer and then headed to see Nancy and Mark at their home.

Nancy was preparing a lunch of Greek pita burgers, barbecued by Mark, with a Greek salad, corn-on-the-cob, and cantaloupe and cherries. Their daughter Susanna assisted in the preparation of this scrumptious meal, We ate on their patio deck overlooking their beautiful backyard complete with a brook gurgling through it.

Today would be a day that Marianne had been dreaming of for a very long time – getting to go shopping with Nancy and without me. Now she could shop to her heart’s content and have an ally who would enjoy the ritual as much as she did.

Mark and I would do the proper guy thing: retreat to his awesome media room in his basement to watch the movie “2012” in Blu-Ray hi-def with surround sound on a monster projection screen, the sound turned up loud, and a bevy of overstuffed recliner chairs for our viewing pleasure.

I had the dogs with me, since they’re not allowed to go shopping (lucky them) and they were intimidated by the volume at first, but after a while they relaxed and became oblivious to it.

“2012” is a true guy movie, not a chick-flick at all. Things are constantly blowing up, car and airplane chase scenes are in hyperdrive, and the special effects are cutting edge. I don’t want to ruin the plot, but if you’re to believe the premise of this movie then you shouldn’t be buying any long term annuities.

The movie was even long enough to have an intermission. And that’s another great thing about having your own in-house movie theater: you can start and stop the movie whenever you want, and even rewind scenes that warrant a closer inspection.

After we left the subterranean pleasure palace and reappeared on the surface of the earth, where everything was intact, unlike in the movie, the girls came home, glowing from their shopping experience.

Nancy then proceeded to prepare a special dinner of marinated Bourbon steak which Mark cooked to perfection on the barbecue grill. Also on the menu were new potatoes, cooked fresh green beans, and homemade biscuits. This was to be Nancy’s pre-birthday dinner, so for dessert we had the cheesecake which just happened to be her all time favorite.

Their daughter Susanna, along with their son Matthew and his wife, Liza, joined us for this delectable dinner. As I remember, there were no leftovers.

For a birthday gift we presented Nancy with a coral, which she proclaimed was her favorite color.

To top the evening off, we headed back down to the home theater to watch a DVD of a live performance of the comedian Sinbad. His humor kept everyone in stitches as he skewered a multitude of stereotypes.

And on the way back to the KOA, we followed our instincts instead of the GPS, and made it home without a wrong turn.